Friday, May 14, 2021

 Well today it's a year since my Mum passed away. The time seems to have gone so quickly and yet it still feels as painful as if it happened yesterday.  I think about her every single day and it is so hard not having her in my life anymore.  My Dad has done incredibly well, coping with long periods of not seeing anyone due to lockdown, and just basically getting on with it.  It must be so lonely for him, after being married for 52 years, to suddenly there just being him.  Since having children, we had a lot of holidays all together, especially in France, and there are so many happy memories of different campsites and beaches and lovely meals out and suddenly that chapter of my life is finished which is incredibly sad.  It also makes you look at your own mortality and ageing which I struggle a lot with.  My Maternal Grandparents both lived till they were 94 so I feel I've been shortchanged 20 odd years with my Mum.  They saw both me and my Sister married and greatly enjoyed being Great Grandparents which my Mum will not have the pleasure of. At the moment it doesn't feel possible that it will get easier to deal with but I know it gradually will.

On Tuesday I started my new job which I really enjoyed.  I was nervous because I am used to working with 2, 3 and 4 year olds as opposed to babies but it was all fine and it was lovely to be back working with children again.  F the woman I am working for is really nice so I think it will all work out well.  At the moment it is just Tuesdays 8 till 5 but from September, due to the Covid baby boom! it will be Thursdays as well.  

Daughter S had her summative assessment with her practice assessor today. She got signed off her last year and her degree as a midwife so now she's got to just wait for graduation and for jobs to be advertised that she can apply for.  We are so, so proud of her - she has worked so hard to achieve a dream she has had since she was about 11 years old.  She will be the first person of both mine and Husbands family to gain a degree so very exciting. She is coming home next Wednesday for D's birthday and staying a few nights so no doubt a few glasses of bubbles will pass our lips in celebration.

Finally, books.  The Secrets of Strangers was a fantastic book and I read it in two nights. Now I am reading The Weekend which I wasn't sure about at first but now I am racing through that one as well. 

Well the weather has been truly awful this week and I think the weekend is meant to be wet as well so not sure what we will be up to.  I would really like a nice long walk but I shall have to wait and see how heavy the rain is.

Next Wednesday is D's 17th birthday and we are going to our village hotel for a meal.  I absolutely cannot wait to sit back inside nice surroundings, eating a lovely meal that someone else has cooked, with a couple of glasses of chilled white wine. Bliss.  I am also finally having my hair cut and coloured that day as well so I shall be dizzy with excitement!


  1. One never really gets over the loss of parents, Emma, and I'm really sorry to hear of the death of your mother a year ago. But eventually, you will remember the good times without wanting to cry. My Mum died 20 years ago last November and I still miss the times we enjoyed together as we both had a silly sense of humour and all kinds of things would set us off laughing, whereas others wouldn't crack their faces! We could laugh so much we almost wet ourselves, believe me. My Dad died when he was only 66 and so Mum was widowed for many years before her own death, aged almost 88. I'm glad your Dad is coping and thank goodness he has you and the grandchildren to keep him going.
    The books look interesting. I will look for those on Amazon.
    Glad you are enjoying your new job, too.
    Margaret P

    1. I think it must be one of the hardest things to cope with, losing parents. You go through life enjoying get togethers and making memories but I don't think you ahead look ahead to all that ending and then suddenly it has. It will be good that from next week we can get back into a routine of going up to see my Dad once a month for the weekend and taking him out.
      The books are both very good but especially The Secrets of Strangers which I just couldn't put down.

  2. Big virtual hugs to you, anniversaries are always painful.
    I hope you remember your mum with a glass of something lovely and some happy memories.
    The weather's been awful here too but we still enjoyed out NT visit and I've spent all day in the garden today, you could have wrung me out I was that wet! xxx

    1. Thankyou and I did. We have spent a lot of time over the last few days reminiscing about holidays and times spent with my parents.
      It has been pretty wet here today but I still got out twice for walks with K and L dodging showers and late afternoon they even had a paddle in the sea!


 Oh my goodness, another week has gone in a flash! Four more weeks of school and then hopefully I can settle back into a slower pace of life...